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Journal Entry: Wed Jun 15, 2016, 8:55 AM
 I shot this photo last Saturday, and it has a very personal meaning and importance to me that I hope you don't mind me sharing. This weekend the man in this photo who I am head over heels for confessed his love for me for the first time, and I told him that I love him back. He even let me take this portrait of him not long after (this being the first time he has let me photograph him). I think about the future, even if my future is with another man, and I wonder what will happen. Will the love of my life be murdered and taken from me simply because he loves me? Or vice versa? The world has become a different place for me after finding out about the shooting on Sunday morning in Orlando. My emotions since I heard the news have been incredibly unpredictable, and it doesn't help that I am already diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I keep crying in public, and my eyes, my body, and my soul are in so much pain from my grief. I wish so much that this pain would go away, and I pray for the braveness to be myself, and to love who I love without shame and fear, but I'm terrified. I don't know if I could even muster the courage to attend Portland's Gay Pride celebration this weekend. It's bittersweet, but I wanted to share this photo with you anyway, because I love him, and I deserve to be able to share that with you despite my fears of what others will think and do. It's just a simple window lit portrait, but when I look at it I get butterflies in my stomach and my fears and anxieties ease for a moment. When he holds me I feel like I have no worries in the world. This man is wonderful, and I can't believe how lucky I am that he loves me. I just hope and pray with all my heart that he isn't murdered and taken from me because of this.

Chris by DanOstergren


  • Listening to: Sublime
  • Reading: The words flowing from my fingertips.
  • Eating: Peanut butter!

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DanOstergren
Dan
Artist | Professional | Photography
United States
Hi, I'm Dan.
I'm a self-taught photographer.
I've been shooting since 2010.

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Nathan by DanOstergren
Nathan
**Be sure to FULL VIEW to see the intended colors and detail. **Follow me on Facebook: www.facebook.com/danoportraits 
So I sold my Canon 135mm f/2L lens, and I'd love to tell you why. Like most of us photographers, I love a shallow depth of field. The 135mm really delivers in that department. Almost to the point of too much. The focal length being so long also complicates things in small spaces and most indoor spaces. It's also heavy and I'm skinny, so fcuk that, right? Honestly I got used to the weight after a while, but whenever I would switch it out for my Canon 85mm f/1.8 (which is a lens that's priced considerably less than the 135mm), I noticed the weight change immediately and really liked it. I can also be much closer to my models, still get a significantly shallow depth of field, and it's focus is fast and sharp. Also being slightly wider in perspective, it allows me to capture the essence of a location while still being somewhat close in the the model. I've owned the 135mm for 3 years, and the 85mm for 4. For the majority of that time I only used the 135mm because I was obsessed with the depth of field, and the 85mm was used very rarely. After two years though I felt that all my work was starting to look the same, and I've been getting a little bored with it. Over the last two months I started using my 85mm again, and I was really loving the images I was able to render with it. I realized that I like them just as much, if not more than my photos with the 135mm. The versatility of the 85mm compared to the 135mm was also causing me to quickly learn new things and improve my work (in my humble opinion). I wasn't really learning much with the 135mm anymore. As well I feel that the two lenses have similar enough ways of rendering an image, and the price difference between the 85mm ($350 on amazon) was steep enough compared to the 135mm ($999 on amazon) that I could no longer rationalize owning it.  So, I sat down for a while and thought about it, and decided that selling my 135mm lens and using the 85mm instead would be a better choice for my photography and I. And I don't regret it one bit. Already I feel so inspired to try new things because of the limitation that were opened up to me with a wider focal length, and I don't think there is any real different in the image quality. What I do notice though is that my overall images are becoming better because I'm learning quicker, which comes to my point that expensive gear is unnecessary to take an excellent photograph. Knowing your light, how to use your camera and how to compose an image in a pleasing way are 100% the most important aspect to photography. For this shot I used an old 5D Classic, an EF 85mm f/1.8 lens, available daylight and a $15 five-in-one reflector. The total cost of this gear is only $750. If I sold all of that I would still need to raise another $150 to buy a 135mm f/2L. Just food for thought. If you read all of this, go you!  ;)
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Nathan by DanOstergren
Nathan
**Be sure to FULL VIEW to see the intended colors and detail. **Follow me on Facebook: www.facebook.com/danoportraits…
From a recent agency test. I love the flexibility for experimenting that testing with agency models allows you. My goal with this shoot was to use some harsh, direct sunlight to illuminate the model, which is something I usually avoid. I didn't do it perfectly with this shoot, but I learned a lot and know I'll do better next time. 
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Bobby Bonaparte by DanOstergren
Bobby Bonaparte
My dear friend. He's just so sexy! You'll have to excuse my latest fascination with sepia toning and the look of tintype prints. For some reason I see so many photographer hiss at the mention of sepia, but lately I just find it to be really beautiful. I'm sure my digital conversions don't come even close to what the film would look like, so I'm making it my goal to get an old school large format film camera and start playing with film. 
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:icontxhern:
txhern Featured By Owner Jun 9, 2016
HAPPY BIRTHDAY BEAR HUGS!
Wishing you all the best and lots of fun on your day :D
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Brutus9000 Featured By Owner Jun 9, 2016
Happy Birthday to You ~Cake 2015 NaNoEmo - #21 Birthday Dance 
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:icondanie-e:
Danie-E Featured By Owner Jun 9, 2016  Hobbyist Photographer
Blower fella (Party) Party HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Handshake Flowers fella (Love)
                      Wish you all the best!
                    Hope you have a nice day!
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DiamonEyes Featured By Owner Jun 9, 2016
Happy Birthday!!! :icondancingplz::iconcakedanceplz::cake::iconmoonwalkplz::iconcatdanceplz::icondancekittyplz::icontrolldanceplz:
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Anoya Featured By Owner Jun 9, 2016   Photographer
Happy birthday :party:
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SpaceCowboy91 Featured By Owner Jun 9, 2016
Happy Birthday. :)
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rickster155 Featured By Owner Jun 9, 2016  Hobbyist Photographer
Happy Birthday!
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kaisakuris Featured By Owner Jun 9, 2016  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Happy birthday!Party 
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Metal-Bender Featured By Owner Jun 8, 2016   Photographer

:iconhappybirthdaycakeplz::icondancingcatplz::iconhappybirthdaysignplz:Happy Birthday Dan!!:party::iconfuncakeplz::icongiftplz::iconbdayfireworks1plz::iconbdayfireworks2plz::iconchampagneplz:

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